I, like so many people out there, have spent too much time in fear and worry. We all realize that truly fear is one thing that can hold us back from our dreams. Sometimes, however, we deceive ourselves that it isn't fear holding us back. We belive that perhaps it's lack of ability or personality type; it doesn't even appear to us as fear immediately.
The litmus test to see if you are avoiding something because of fear is the "what if" statement. Look within yourself and ask the question of why you are not doing something. When your answer starts with "what if", you know you're living in fear.In my quest to create a successful business I found myself in a quandary.
I had to face some fears in order to make my business successful or accept the fact that my business would not grow into what I dreamed it would. To me, there was no choice. When I planned how I would market my first business, Shine Personal Coaching (Shine Personal Coaching), I knew that writing would be a key component. That was fine. I like to write?secretly I hoped this was all it would take to gain awareness.
In my heart (and in my brain), I knew it would take more than that. I knew that networking would be important. As a "corporate-lifer", I never had to network to sell my own business. I had to socialize a bit and lobby within the company, but I wouldn't call that networking. So there was big worry #1. I also had a nagging feeling that public speaking would be important.
That was HUGE worry #2.As I said, my desire to grow my business had to supercede the fear of networking and public speaking. And to me?therein lies the key.
What you want to achieve has to be more important that the fear. So, I embarked on networking first. In my mind, I practiced how I would describe my business, my elevator speech, and I literally just showed up at a networking event where my target audience would be present. I was nervous, but I did it anyway and it wasn't bad. In fact, it was fun and I met some great women. I did the same thing with public speaking.
I prepared as well as I could. Since I am confident in my writing, I literally wrote out exactly what I would say?and I practiced over and over again. I started in the least threatening environment possible and worked my way "up".
Now, believe it or not, I look forward to networking events AND my speaking engagements. Had you told me that this would happen even 2 years ago, I would not have believed you.So, here are some tips to conquer your fear.
- Get your goal clearly in your mind so that you can feel how good the accomplishment of it will be.
Remember, what you want to achieve needs to be more important than the fear
- Feel the fear but do it anyway. Prepare a bit, but make the appointment, the call, the date and go
- If at first you don't succeed, try again!
- If at first you do succeed, remember that great feeling and make the next appointment!
- Stop imagining negative scenarios. Stop the what if thinking; this is how we create fear in our minds.
We imagine worst case scenarios. Stop yourself before you go there
- Better yet, ask yourself what if you are a wild success? We never ask ourselves that do we? To overcome fear, change the story in your brain to only imagine positive scenarios. Align your expectations with your desired outcome and you will be primed for success
- Stop taking everything so seriously.
This is the one thing I used to remind myself as I was being introduced to my audience and I was secretly checking out the exits to the room preparing to flee. This is not brain surgery (at least for most of us) and thankfully no one will die if you flop as a speaker or you don't connect at a networking event. It has happened to everyone. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
Have fun with it, experiment and know that at the end of the day, your family will still love you, your friends will still think you're great and you will wake to live another day
.Be proud of yourself that you dared to do what most people don't. You did something you weren't sure of?faced a fear and in the process, grew as a person..Karyn Pless is the creator of The Beyond Balance Home Study System? and President of a U.S. company called Beyond Balance which conducts corporate training, keynote speaking, seminars and executive coaching. For 18 years Karyn built her career in marketing working her way up the corporate ladder to Vice President of Marketing of a U.S. retailer and then Vice President, Marketing and Creative Services of a U.S. promotional agency while also juggling two children and a husband. After turning to a personal coach herself to reduce the chaos in her life, Karyn decided to become trained and certified as a professional coach and pass on all she has learned to effectively guide business professionals who want practical, real-world, work/life integration tactics that actually work in the business world.
For more information, please visit http://www.WorkLifeExpert.com.
By: Karyn Pless
